It was time to end things.
But now I have sort of an empty feeling I can’t seem to get rid of. I’m going to fill this with friends and family. Enough of these boys, time to get myself together. Time to adventure every aspect of my being and figure out how I work. I have to get to know myself before I let someone else know me right? I’m excited to decode my brain and understand who I want to be and what I want to accomplish this year. A fresh start is just what I’ve been wishing for.
“Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most. Of everything. They make you feel so alive that you’d follow them straight into hell, just to keep getting your fix.”—Karen Marie Moning (via skeletales)
“Here’s why I will be a good person. Because I listen. I cannot talk, so I listen very well. I never deflect the course of the conversation with a comment of my own. People, if you pay attention to them, change the direction of one another’s conversations constantly. It’s like being a passenger in your car who suddenly grabs the steering wheel and turns you down a side street. For instance, if we met at a party and I wanted to tell you a story about the time I needed to get a soccer ball in my neighbor’s yard but his dog chased me and I had to jump into a swimming pool to escape, and I began telling the story, you, hearing the words “soccer” and “neighbor” in the same sentence, might interrupt and mention that your childhood neighbor was Pele, the famous soccer player, and I might be courteous and say, Didn’t he play for the Cosmos of New York? Did you grow up in New York? And you might reply that, no, you grew up in Brazil on the streets of Tres Coracoes with Pele, and I might say, I thought you were from Tennessee, and you might say not originally, and then go on to outline your genealogy at length. So my initial conversational gambit - that I had a funny story about being chased by my neighbor’s dog - would be totally lost, and only because you had to tell me all about Pele. Learn to listen! I beg of you. Pretend you are a dog like me and listen to other people rather than steal their stories.”—Garth Stein, The Art of Racing in the Rain (via brownzaika)
First, you meet a person, or just start spending more and more time with an acquaintance, and nothing is unusual at first. But as time goes on, you find yourself thinking about them when they’re not around: how interesting your discussions with them are; how much they annoy you when they do such-and-such; how much they make you laugh. Denial begins somewhere around the time you start taking extra care with how you look on the days you’ll see them, or out-and-out wearing what you know will get their attention, though you pretend that it has nothing whatsoever to do with them.
Then one day, the clouds part, the angels sing, or the metaphorical equivalent of an anvil falls on your head, and you can’t deny it anymore. You have to admit that you feel more alive when you’re with them, and you look forward to every moment you spend with them. But the ever-present weight of uncertainty makes your swelling heart ache with every beat.
“I think that’s such a beautiful sentiment. Love should only last as long as a very expensive and impractical bikini that looks stunning, but dissolves in the sea within days. So many pop songs tell of this terrible, tiresome love that they want to last forever. But that just makes me think of long-life milk, acrid and fake. Love should be like a movie trailer. Even if the film’s a stinker, you get the best laughs and the biggest explosions in the space of two minutes.”—Namedropper by Emma Forrest (via daydreamdelusion)
“I’m not going to be one of those people who sits around talking about what they’re going to do or become. I’m just going to do it. Imagining the future is kind of nostalgia. You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how amazing it will be, and imagining the future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”—John Green, Looking For Alaska (via c-ovet)